7 weeks

i love my little man.

i love how his bottom lip sticks out when he sleeps and when it quivers when he starts to feel sad.

i love how his little hands stay clenched til he decides he wants to hold my finger.

i love waking up to his babbling and quiet squeaks telling me he's hungry.

i love his cute little arms that fly in the air at random times when he's sleeping.

i love those chubby cheeks just hanging there as he stares up at me.

i love waking up from a nap right next to him and seeing his huge smiles as he lays happily next to me.

i love watching him kick, one leg at a time, laying all independent on the floor.

i love the way he turns his head towards whoever starts talking.

i love how perfect and complete he's made my life.

i choose happiness

i was hoping to not have to go back on meds but sometimes it just has to be, and that's ok. depression is a big thing these days and i'm grateful it's so out in the open so people don't struggle as much coming out and getting help.

i was lucky to be able to get off so easily with my pregnancy hormones, it just made it so simple. i crossed my fingers and kept pushing it once he was born, i waited past the baby blues period just to be sure. luckily i've been here before, i know how much better things can be for me emotionally and i'm so grateful for modern medications.

i've been back on for about a week and and loving the motivation that's come. motivation to be better, to be stronger, to be happier, to be more fit. i love being able to control my emotions, i love being able to feel normal again.

i love this quote, the one i've got at the top of the blog: "For what it's worth: it's never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."


I love having second, third, fourth chances. i love knowing that i can always become a better version of myself and it's never too late.

i love my little family, and i love jen for taking grant's first pictures! we've got a little preview and i can't wait to see the rest!! she did fabulous with our engagements, it's hard for me to ever go somewhere else! she rocks.

If you are interested in seeing more of Jen's work, you can go to her website HERE

baby training

i'm one of those. i believe that with time, you slowly help your baby get on a schedule so you can actually live life. my precious little man is so easily trainable, i'm in shock.

when he was a couple weeks old i had to train him not to eat more than every 2 hours, and to eat enough each time to last that long.

at about a month i was able to train him to sleep in his own bed every night. it only took one day of struggles.

2 days ago i started training him to fall asleep on his own, in his own bed when he got tired. today he did it! love him.

THANK YOU BABY WHISPERER for making my life so much more manageable! the woman is a genius.

before i was a mom

Before I was a Mom -
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom -
I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on - pooped on - spit on - chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life  so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much.

faces

i swear my baby has a million different expressions, sometimes he looks like this skinny little man, other times he looks like an adorable little chubby thing. i'd like to think it's his little own personality blooming. it just cracks me up! it's like he's saying something with every face he makes.

mama's boy

they say the tougher the pregnancy, the sweeter the baby. i'm so grateful for that to be true in my case. my little man has been an angel. it took him a bit to get used to this life with more space to move around, but he's been such a good baby!
tears only come when he's really hungry or super tired, poor thing. tears recently started forming, i had no idea newborns didn't have actual tears. they might be the saddest things i've ever seen. and his little bottom lip sticks out when he starts getting sad, so weird that the cutest thing i've ever seen is also the saddest!! i'd take a picture if it didn't make me feel so guilty!
i love my little guy!

matt has a serious addiction/obsession. he's in love with the avengers, he'd watch it twice a day, every day if he could. unfortunately for him, i am still working on being able to leave my little man, although he'd go see it again by himself any day. i have no idea how people do it, i've left grant to take naps and that's hard enough. i haven't even left him with matt to run errands, not because him, but because i just miss my baby and worry!!! that's normal for the most part right? i went and got my hair cut the other day, when i went around the corner for them to wash it, i was worrying the entire time, missing his little face!! with time and more kiddos, i know i'll be dying to have a break but for now i'm loving this ache i have to be with my little babe.

be loyal to the royal within

i love this. one day i may have a little girl, but i love how much my husband loves me and already shows our son everyday. he will grow up knowing how to respect woman, how they should be treated, how to be the best priesthood holder he can be, and how to raise a happy family. he will know that the girls worth his time are the ones that dress modestly and respect themselves, and he will never settle for less.

holy delicious

costcos chocolate cake used to be the #1 but it's officially been topped and nobody can deny it.

my amazing visiting teacher brought a magleby's chocolate cake over when the baby was born, yes i am very aware the affects that chocolate has on breast milk, why is this chocolate craving stronger than ever before?

it's very hard for me to control myself now. i don't know if i hate or love her for bringing it into my life. i finally found a fabulous copy cat recipe from a former employee and am struggling saving some for matt when he gets home.

CAKE RECIPE

• Combine:
• 1 Cup butter
• 1 Cup water
• 4 T. heaping cocoa
• Sift together the following:
• 2 Cups flour
• 2 Cups sugar
• 1/2 t. salt
• Pour chocolate over dry ingredients, gently mix
• In separate bowl combine the following:
• 2 Eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 t. soda -- dissolved in little water
• 1 t. vanilla
• Combine with chocolate ingredients... then add
• 1/2 Cup sour cream
• Gently mix. Do not over mix.

The author of this cake could be anyone... *it is said that it is the Magleby’s Restaurant cake... and well... if you bake it at 325 for 50 to 60 minutes then you can call it that. Or you can bake at 375 for 20-40 minutes. 

FROSTING RECIPE

Combine

1 cup butter -- let sit until room temperature

1/2 cup milk

3 T cocoa

3 1/2 cup powder sugar

t vanilla

TIP:: magleby's freezes their cakes before frosting!

confessions and goals

once i get much farther than the 35 pounds i've already lost in this last month, i'll admit how much i actually gained in my pregnancy.

i remember looking at the cute pregnant woman growing up and thinking i was going to be that. i was going to stay super fit and cute. and i don't know if was the fact that i was carrying a tongan boy, or that pregnant me just needed to nourish itself beyond belief, or the super cravings i got but on top of it all i probably gained more water weight that you could imagine in your little head. plus i was one of those that had a pregnancy that makes you think "WHY do people have more than one?" luckily my babe is the cutest and totally worth every pain and symptom those 9 months brought.

it's been good to be allowed to exercise again!! that would be another reason for such a huge gain, i wasn't allowed to do anything! i'm so in love with that jogging stroller, although it's only been 1 month since my body pushed a human out of it, so i am very wise and am taking things slowly. i have to comfort my mom with that, she was incomplete shock that the doctor told me i could start doing sit ups before 6 weeks was up.

speaking of sit ups, i cannot believe how incredibly hard that was the first time! i've always heard people talk about it but i thought the reasons were because it hurt your stomach, not because of the complete lack of muscles that are left after all that time of nothing. i had ZIP in my stomach, abs, or back. how did i even sit up?? i am proud to say i am up to 10 a day and oh my word it's hard!

i thought having a wee one would make things difficult, but he is very accommodating. i just use him as weights and he loves moving around like that. our first walk was short, but he's loving it more each time. plus he's just the cutest, ok?

love them

you are going to be sick of baby posts and i don't even care.

i love the smell of babies! it's so sweet, and luckily my little man loves loves taking baths and showers with me. cutest thing ever. he only gets upset when we take him out. or of course if the water starts getting too cool for his liking. i love watching his cute little body splashing in there. i can't wait til he starts smiling on purpose, his facial expressions already crack me right up.

today was his first day at church, i couldn't believe how good he was! everyone just loved him and he soaked up the attention like a sponge. i didn't have to leave once! and i couldn't get enough of his adorable little outfit!

i am sad at myself for not keeping track of matt's funnies lately but i do have some good ones. i hope one day grant and his siblings will enjoy looking back at them.

* he comes up to cuddle by me, puts his hand on my face all weird and just sings "i've grown accustom to your faaaace...."

* nobody wants to respond to my yoda joke...

* the avengers is to movies what better than sex cake is to cakes

* no sara. this is where i put my nose on your face and you just let me. ...you smell like my wife.

* let's just love each other.

* ATTENTION TONY: This message comes to you from Sara's favorite boy toy, the one and only Matthew Bradley (aka the Mr. Rogers of Tonga). I appreciate your kind words about the cuteness of my studly and masculine child. Now with that being said I understand you have some deep feelings for my sister in law Mackenzie. I will be sending you a "potential brother in law" questionnaire in the mail very soon. Please prepare yourself and study up on the following topics; the history of hydroponics, the life of Robert E Lee's cousin Jim Bob Lee, and last but not least please write a 50 page essay on comparing and contrasting Godzilla and King Kong. I wish you good luck as you embark on this nearly impossible task. Once you've achieved acceptance in my eyes you will forever be known as the Mr. McFeely of Hilliard. Good day, my kind sir!"

* you and i will go see the avenger's spinoff that will come out next year, completely geared towards women. it includes princess buttercup, bo peep from toy story, miss congeniality, the asian charlie's angel, nanny mcphee, gretchen weiners, and mr. T. they call themselves THE PMS AVENGERS

throughout the day thoughts come into my head and i think "i need to blog this so i can remember it!" and then the tiny amount of time i have to get on the computer, i can't remember what they were.

it's only been just under 3 weeks and my little man is growing and changing so much. his eyes are wide open more often, his noises just get cuter, and he's got a stronger and more adorable bond with his daddy.

my non-pregnant body is so opposite the way it's been the last 9 months. my appetite is scarce, i have to force myself to eat so i can feel my little one. and of course i want chocolate more now than ever, and of course it's bad for your breastmilk. second to my child, magleby's chocolate cake is my most favorite thing and i may never forgive audra for that.

i can't wait for pictures at the end of this month, and until then i'll have to settle with my crappy camera and my memory. i love him!