chocolate overload

i've already mentioned my chocolate obsession but i have to say, it's getting worse. luckily for me my work out endurance is getting stronger...

pinterest is not helping. actually that's where i put all the blame. i even have a board dedicated only to chocolate. it astounds me, i'm so curious how it all works. from a plant comes something so delicious...

the husband is well informed of my favorites...lindor and dove will never bore me. and always always dark. that's new. i never cared for dark chocolate until i lived in europe, their milk chocolate tasted so weird to me and now i can't go back. the absolute best was their dark "bubble chocolate", we called it. it just melted in your mouth. we'd run to the store on the side of the school in kiev and get a bar...almost daily, i am sad to admit. (i never wondered where the weight started piling on)

hershey's just started their "air delights", which is the same thing, but they only have it in milk chocolate right now. 

i'm apparently on the search for the best chocolate cake. it needs to be moist and heavy with the best creamy chocolate frosting. i've tried several from pinterest, always claiming to be the best. matt comes home, "did you make another cake?" 

*yesterday was the black magic cake, i loved loved the frosting although i changed the amount of vanilla and substituted cocoa powder for the melted chocolate because i prefer it that way. but the cake wasn't my favorite and didn't look like i thought it would in the end.

*the next i will try will be the buttermilk fudge cake, i haven't tried a buttermilk cake yet so i'd say it has promise. both of those ask for brewed coffee in the ingredients, i use water instead because not only do i not drink coffee, but ew.

*i love the magleby's chocolate cake so i found this copy cat recipe, which i've already blogged about. it's frosting was incredible as well, but the cake just tasted like a texas sheet cake, which i do love. and it's extremely moist and heavy, love that. for some reason they deleted the frosting recipe but i already posted it HERE.

*i think it was on monday that i tried this death by chocolate recipe, matt loved that one, it was really different and i liked it, but not my favorite. it was pretty thick but harder on the outside and a little bit dryer than i would like.

i've been going through brownie recipes too, they're always more moist, and i love the chewy ones! big fan of brownies. and i'll be trying my own ganache this weekend, make some little homemade truffles. 

and i'd like to say, i only have 1 or 2 pieces of each! haha i swear i'm not eating whole cakes everyday, i mean come on, who can do that with a tongan man in the house? he's a dessert fan. we also take them to those we visit/home teach, and matt's 10 year olds in primary didn't complain.

utah is on fire

the fires around here are making me nervous. we aren't very close to one but the ash and smokey air has moved to our area. i saw some facebook status about it and opened the door. it looks like someone made my back yard look like a vintage picture. it's gorgeous to be honest, but unfortunatly not for good reason.

my camera doesn't do it justice, but below is our back yard without any editting whatsoever. the sky is yellow and full of smoke, you can see it most up by the mountains.

then 10 minutes later, i went out and it was much worse, much more yellow. the air is getting hard to breath, almost like we're at a campfire. 

there are 6 fires in utah right now, it's sad how many homes have been evacuated. we are praying that we'll stay safe. that's one downer to living without humidity. we never had anything like this growing up in ohio. 

baby

the anti diet

if you've already seen this going around pinterest, you're golden. if not, read on because i can't help but spread the word. i have to give all my credit for this one to "the londoner", she put into words what i wish i could scream to so many of those people out there dieting and going crazy about not being small enough or good enough. everyone seems to be comparing themselves to others, which steals all joy in life. even i am guilty of this one, more often than i'd like to admit.

the anti diet is just that, not a diet. it's a lifestyle. and to be quite honest, it can only make life better and make you so much happier and confident. here it is, from the londoner, through me.

1. motivation. that's the first key. set a goal, do what you need to, and the next time you bump into the friend you haven't seen in awhile, your ex, or just go to the pool surrounded by strangers, you'll feel fine and not start worrying and wondering.

instead of wincing at yourself in a group picture tagged on facebook, take a look at that fun group of girls/guys,  excited and having fun! that's what matters.

2. hunger. there are 2 kinds. physical and emotional. let's be honest, we all have problems in this area. it's extremely important to recognize emotional hunger, and pay attention to physical hunger. here is the little chart i stole from the londoner to help separate the two:

3. hunger is one of the first signs of dehydration! when you aren't drinking enough, your body doesn't care where it gets any kind of hydration and starts craving everything. so if you feel hungry, drink a big glass of water, wait about 10 minutes, then see if you are still hungry. if you are, eat. the water will only help aid your digestion and you'll absorb less of the fat from the foods you eat!

4. you need to understand the different levels of hunger. again, using the londoners photo to help you understand.

you should be eating around 3-4

if you wait to eat until you are 1-2, your body goes into starvation mode and will hold onto every bit of fat that you take in.

if you accidently get to this level, take it slow, eat something light or you'll go straight to a 10.

actively trying to lose weight people can stop at a 5.

if you are happy with where you are, stop at 6.

this will train your body to exactly what is right for you.

here is what your cravings mean and what you can do to sooth them the healthy way:

sweets/candy

your body's lacking chromium, carbon phosphorus, sulphur, tryptophan.
you can get these from: 
broccoli, grapes, cheese, chicken, fresh fruit, beef, liver, fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, legumes, cranberries, horseradish, kale, cabbage, turkey, sweet potato & spinach.

bread

you need nitrogen.you'll find this in:high protein foods; fish, meats, nuts, beans.

fatty snacks
you're lacking calcium.eat more:mustard, greens, dairy, legumes & sesame seeds.

carbonated drinks
you need more calcium.eat: 
mustard, broccoli, kale, legumes, dairy & sesame.
*if you crave a specific drink, this is an addiction.

salty foods
you need chloride.try and eat: 
goats milk, fish & unrefined sea salt.

coffee

your body's craving phosphorous, sulfur & iron.try eating more: 
chicken, beef, liver, fish, eggs, dairy, red peppers, garlic, onion, sea salt, apple vinegar, seaweed, greens & black cherries.

cigarettes
obviously this is a physical addition to nicotine, but you can ease cravings by eating more silicon & tyrosine.eat more:
nuts, seeds, citrus fruits, green vegetables.

PMS
put down the chocolate, zinc is what you need!get your hands on some:
red meat, seafood, leafy vegetables, root vegetables, marmite or bovril.

6. remember! while you start eating healthier, stay away from fast food. "just once won't hurt" doesn't work here, the chemicals are highly addictive and they trigger your brain to want more. steer clear and pretty soon you won't even want anymore.

7. you need to get off your butt.

no need to exercise like mad, i'm not saying go to the gym everyday, just be active. take the stairs, walk to the store. if you have time for the internet, you have time for a run! stop making excuses.

8. the most important thing to remember is you are not on a diet. my husband and i are opposites when it comes to this, i feel that food is to be enjoyed. you shouldn't starve yourself and you shouldn't cut out all the treats. that's no way to live.

live by the 80/20 rule. 80% of what you eat should be healthy, nutritious, and good for you. then the other 20% can be the cheat foods like brownie's, cake, carmles, mmmmm....

if you know you'll be going out to eat for dinner, make sure breakfast and lunch are healthy. 

if you've had a few unhealthy days, make sure the rest of your week is better.

(google)

9. lastly - stop stressing so much about your weight. food is to be enjoyed, not worried about.

stop weighting yourself, it's not a true reflection of how you are doing.  focus on how you are feeling and how your clothes are fitting you instead. your body deserves to be treated better, love yourself a little bit more.

(unmarked photos are from weheartit)

bad habits?

most moms would be thrilled to not have to break their child of their pacifer one day. and that still may be the case for me because grant really really struggles, he refuses to take a pacifier although he seems to want it.

it's now become - when he wants it, he will take it. and i am grateful for at least that. he's so sweet and calm for the most part, but when he get all sad and pouty, it's so nice when he'll allow it to comfort him.

then he spits it out all by himself when he starts calming down or falling to sleep. good baby. good baby.

goalssss

before we were married we originally planned on going to teach english in thailand this summer. then it changed to china because the men aren't allowed in thailand through the program quite yet. matt was very aware of my need for travel and desires for other culture. then a surprise pregnancy put those things off and ilp was out of the question. luckily being a mom is so much more beautiful and adventurous than any of the things i experienced in europe. we've been through that already...

matt served his mission in the philippines so he knows that feeling of love that comes while living in a completely different culture. we both would like to live abroad once he finishes school. i want my kiddos to  experience other foods, other people, other lands. so we were talking a lot about that this weekend.

of course lots of it depends on matt's job, but journalists have quite the range. i'm excited to see what lies in our future. i think we'd both love to be in europe for awhile. winkleigh, edinburgh, versailles, i would love to experience life in those cities. when and where are the mysteries now. school is the top priority. this world holds so many opportunities!

(weheartit)

milestones

if you can't tell, this blog is officially a family blog and only that. so nobody can say i didn't warn ya while i brag about my gorgeous son and post all the family business. ok then.

i'm super proud of the skills the wee one has acquired in just the last week. things started rolling pretty quickly, last weekend matt taught his how to hold onto things.

then out of nowhere he was learning he could put those things into his mouth, awesome.

and then BAM he rolls over and i'm preparing to have to baby proof this place! although i should have a little bit more til he gets around that much, he's only 2 1/2 months for crying out loud. 

he's got quite the attitude and we try not to but it's hilarious and we end up laughing. he likes to do this high pitch scream when he wants attention. he just looks right up at you, does the noise, stops and stares while you laugh then he does it again like "what the heck". it's my favorite. 

he's also wiggling out of his diaper while i change him, it's hilarious. it's about the time we strap him into everything now or we may have an accident on our hands. the lady in the mothers lounge at church today said her 4 week old slipped right out of the car seat onto the cement. not cool. 

work out buddy

not only does nursing work wonders on a post pregnant body, but i got so lucky to have a cooperative babe. matt and i were super blessed to find such a fabulous place to live, with a gym in our home. so that helps me soooo much, i can work out pretty much whenever i want. grant loves loud noises so i go for cardio first, the tread mill calms him no matter what his mood. we've got a big love sac in there so i can watch him while i run as he just smiles and chats with himself.

then i'll transfer him to the flat ground so he can watch me do everything else, i'll count out loud so he will grow up to be a genius, right? and he's gotten really good at following with his eyes, they just follow with everything i do, the moving weights, or my arms or legs. and he won't give up, i would think he'd get super tired doing that but he's good. 

then when i'm all done, it's his turn! he's starting to really love tummy time! two days ago, my visiting teacher showed me how to teach them to roll over sooner. i did it with each tummy time through out the day and today my 2 1/2 month little boy rolled over from his tummy to back all by himself! i am super proud. and i am even more proud that i had my camera close by and he paused for so long on his side that i was able to record this fabulous moment. bravo, son. see video below.

it's time

grant sleeps up to 8 hours straight now. i would have expected to keep my babe in our room longer than just 2 1/2 months, but why do moms have to be wired to hear every single tiny sound no matter how deep a sleep you are in?? well...i know why, and i am grateful. but it just means in order for me to get sleep, he's gotta go to his crib in his own room.

i can't believe how fast time has flown, tonight will be a hard night. and the sweetest part about it, i'm pretty sure i'll be sleeping more than matt tonight. he about broke down when i told him it was time. but he knows moms gotta get sleep in order to function sooo...we'll see how it goes!

i've been putting him down for his naps in there, making sure he sees the room before he falls asleep as to not freak him out, waking up in a strange new place. he's doing great, actually seems to be sleeping better than usual. we shall see!

photos

to my babe

dear grant,

you are getting so big. you are becoming so handsome. you are growing and changing every hour.
one day you won't fit in my arms anymore, but i'll still hold you.
one day you will be running around, i'll go crazy chasing you down.
one day i'll hide my tears as i drop you off at kindergarten and wonder if your future wife is sitting in there, just like daddy was for me.
one day i'll be so proud, watching you get baptised, surrounded by everyone that loves you.
one day you will take a beautiful girl out on your first date and i'll pray you remember all the ways we taught you to be a gentleman.
one day we'll gather together and open your mission call as i realize i'll have to let you go for 2 years.
one day you'll decide you want to marry the woman you love and be sealed to her forever.
one day you will give me grandchildren, and i will hold them remembering when you were that tiny.
don't grow up too fast, little baby. i love you forever and ever.

love, mom

my baby daddy

i love the father of my child. the most important thing to me was to find a man that would not only respect me, but love our children so unconditionally, no matter what. i've been beyond blessed with the most incredible father for my children. we work so well together as parents, even when it came to us as such a big surprise. i love watching matt with our little man, i love the example he is, the preisthood he brings into our home, and i hope our babe grows up to be just like him. happy father's day to my wonderful baby daddy, i love you matty.

videos

i got my weekly email saying "this week your little one might start babling and squeeling", i am proud of my guy for being ahead on that one. my favorite thing in the world is when he talks and squeels. i got an adorable little video of him with amanda as she tickled him.

i am so in love with my husband, the man is the best daddy i could have ever found for my children. i got beyond lucky with this one. he is very secure in his daddy hood, i love listening to him talk to grant. i love grocery shopping with those two as matt pushes him around in the cart, talking to him. i love how much time he spends with his little guy, i love how much he misses him while he's at work all day. i love how he gets down to play with his son all the time, talks to him, pulls him around in his bumbo:

for some reason i've wanted to watch one movie over and over and over again lately. i can't even count how many times it's been, and i don't know why. but it's nice that it's free on demand, thank you for that.

spasmic babe

you know that moment when you are sleeping and all of a sudden have a freak out spasm?  my baby does this all the time, several times per nap. but somehow, unlike normal people, he just holds his position. is this what all babies do? it cracks me UP! he throws his arms into the air and it takes at least a full 30 seconds for them to slowly ease back down. i just love it.

jen was able to catch one of these precious moments, hands thrown in the air while still fast asleep.